third times the charm...

so, i guess i left you guys hangin' at the seizure. after many hours in the e.r., a doc finally comes in and informs the husband he has a small cyst on his temperal lobe and he needed to make an appointment to have it looked into further. at this point, my mind goes blank. i cannot deal with this information and the transformation of my life as i once knew it. i took a cig from the husband, walked outside and called my bff. side note about bff, she and i have been through more than any two friends should ever have to go through together. we are and always will be bff. so, i call her. she reassures me everything is going to be fine and i should just stick to my plan. people have cyst in their brain all the time and everything comes out ok in the end she tells me. at this point, it all sounded like, "yada, yada, yada". all i could see was myself standing beside the husband as he went through treatment after treatment to get rid of this cyst and hating myself for it and hating him for it.

the following week, wednesday, the husband goes to the doctor. who knows what he was told while there, he wouldn't let anyone go with him. he comes home, says they didn't really say anything, goes back to being weird. at this point weird is not talking to me, at all, not playing with or taking the dog out and playing video games all day. i was so tired of this. that friday was my birthday. i had free tickets to a cirque du soleil show. i was so super excited. i came home from work early, got dressed and we left. i was my usual chatty kathy self. on and on about how excited i was to see the show and blah, blah, blah. he had little to say back. we went to the show. i loved it! it was awesome. i had never seen anything so beautiful! so of course, being a woman, i wanted to talk about it all the way home. he wouldn't even respond back to me. just sat there, driving, staring straight ahead. that's it. it was my 30th birthday and i was spending it like this....?????

april 29th rolls around. the day before our anniversary. i come home. i tell him i am leaving and moving in with my parents until he can find a place because i want a divorce. that was the last day i saw him and will be the last day i see him until court ordered.