Slacker...

... that's me. i haven't updated in so long. i have been in and out of town and trying my best to get packed up for my move in 2 weeks. will update soon! i have court on friday, so that should be interesting...

and here's the fun part...

i move in with my parents, plan a girls trip and suddenly, the cyst has now turned into a tumor. a major brain tumor. and he is going to duke hospital by himself to have experimental surgery that only one person has lived through.

now, knowing the lying past the husband has, i question and question and question him on this. first of all, he tells me its a female neurosurgeon doing the surgery, it will only take a few hours and he will be fine to drive to and from by himself. he doesn't want me, my family, his family, friends, etc... to go with him in support. he says he is staying at a place that takes dogs so our dog will be going with him. i smell something a little fishy. so i immediately do research on neurosurgeon's at duke. find one. and he is male. the only female caner specialist that is there is a woman who specializes in breast cancer. i ask my friend (who is going on the girls trip) to stop by my house and pick up a book for me. when she does, the husband is totally wacked out of his mind. pacing around, smoking, scratching/playing with his balls (these are the things he does when high on prescription pills, along with falling asleep face first into a bowl of cereal). she can barely keep up with him. he starts explaining to her, with a tennis ball, how the surgery is going to go down. he rips apart the tennis ball like the incredible hulk. all the time pacing, smoking, scratching and playing. she knows he is suspect and she knows he is high on pills at this point. she goes in to get the book and notices a scrap sheet of paper on the counter top with the name, "emerald point" and a telephone number scratched down. my friend ask him if he is going to a water park because apparently she and her family would spend summers at a water park named, "emerald point" in north carolina. he tells her that is the name of his hotel near duke. can you say dumbass (him, not me)?

fast forward to leaving for my girls trip that afternoon. when my friends come to pick me up, we discuss everything going on and we all agree he is total suspect at this point and something else must be going down. i will never reveal how i got the information or where i got it from but, i made a few phone calls and we were gps'ing him "on his way to duke". which hang on, gottta take a pause to laugh right here, right now... lmao!!!!

we arrive at our hotel and i am able to go online and view where the gps has tracked him. buford, georgia. no where near duke but, right next to stephanie the tranny. he texts me and tells me he made it to duke and is going into surgery shortly, blah, blah, blah. two hours later, i get a text. it's a freakin' miracle. he made it out of surgery and is doing just fine. he will be able to come back home the following day and he could have never made it through without me and my family and all of our support. i let him live this lie until i had all proof in front of me that he waws in deed lying. the proof, phone records and the gps. he was not with stephanie the tranny. instead he was with kelly lee and her friend. if you will remember, kelly lee was the only fb friend "ray ray jones" had. i called her, confronted her because i knew she had nothing to hide. found out he may or may not have slept with her but did indeed sleep with her friend. i called him, he didn't answer of course, made him get out of the house immediately and filed to move the divorce forward.

so now here i am, at the young age of 30, starting my life all over again. this is what my blog will tell. how life and love go from here on out!

third times the charm...

so, i guess i left you guys hangin' at the seizure. after many hours in the e.r., a doc finally comes in and informs the husband he has a small cyst on his temperal lobe and he needed to make an appointment to have it looked into further. at this point, my mind goes blank. i cannot deal with this information and the transformation of my life as i once knew it. i took a cig from the husband, walked outside and called my bff. side note about bff, she and i have been through more than any two friends should ever have to go through together. we are and always will be bff. so, i call her. she reassures me everything is going to be fine and i should just stick to my plan. people have cyst in their brain all the time and everything comes out ok in the end she tells me. at this point, it all sounded like, "yada, yada, yada". all i could see was myself standing beside the husband as he went through treatment after treatment to get rid of this cyst and hating myself for it and hating him for it.

the following week, wednesday, the husband goes to the doctor. who knows what he was told while there, he wouldn't let anyone go with him. he comes home, says they didn't really say anything, goes back to being weird. at this point weird is not talking to me, at all, not playing with or taking the dog out and playing video games all day. i was so tired of this. that friday was my birthday. i had free tickets to a cirque du soleil show. i was so super excited. i came home from work early, got dressed and we left. i was my usual chatty kathy self. on and on about how excited i was to see the show and blah, blah, blah. he had little to say back. we went to the show. i loved it! it was awesome. i had never seen anything so beautiful! so of course, being a woman, i wanted to talk about it all the way home. he wouldn't even respond back to me. just sat there, driving, staring straight ahead. that's it. it was my 30th birthday and i was spending it like this....?????

april 29th rolls around. the day before our anniversary. i come home. i tell him i am leaving and moving in with my parents until he can find a place because i want a divorce. that was the last day i saw him and will be the last day i see him until court ordered.

fool me twice...

so now, the husband is back home. we are going through couple's therapy. $30/week, not bad but, the biggest waste of money in my life - ever! well, besides for a very expensive dress i bought and have never worn. anyway, we are doing couple's thearpy and everything is going well during this time period. our 10th month comes up and our therapist is giving us the boot at this point. she believes we now have the "tools" to work on our marriage and to work out problems that may arise. nothing could have prepared me for what was going to take place over the next few months.

about after therapy ended, i noticed the husband reverting back to being... weird. and by weird i mean, sneaky, taking prescription pills again, hiding things, etc... so, once again, my intuition kicked in. i started searching on the "social networking sites". that's when the first of many red flags were raised. i had a friend go on facebook (i forgot to mention, by this point neither of us was supposed to have a facebook or myspace account - trust factor) and search his email. sure enough, up popped "ray ray jones" under his email. the husband's name is not ray ray jones, however, the wayan's brother's name is on the scary movie series. well, this ray ray jones only had one friend, no pictures and was from our part of the world. ray ray jone's friend was a girl named kelly lee. i was furious at this point but wanted to confront him in a calm, relaxing manner. so, i did. his response? he had no idea who that was or how it got up there... blah, blah, blah but by the next day, it was gone.

that was it. i knew he was out and about doing whatever it is that he does. so, i began devising my plan of action to build a case against him and leave. right as i was working on it, he had a seizure. second one in 2 years. ugh, i thought! why now?

fool me once...

two years ago, this halloween was the first time my husband and i separated. i found out he was sleeping around via myspace. yes, myspace. he had been acting kind of sketchy so, i decided to take a look through my history on my computer (a woman's intuition can be a wonderful thing). and there she was. the wanna be transvestite named stephanie. she was large in both height and size and had the face of a man trying to be a woman. he was having an affair. there it was in black and white or rather, rgb. when i confronted him, he didn't even try to lie. he told me he would not be coming home that night and he was leaving me for her because (and i quote), "i deserved someone better". i got to packin'. all of his stuff that is. trashbags, boxes, suitcases, whatever i could find, i shoved full of his stuff. everything that was his or reminded me of him was out the door and sitting in the garage by the time he came home that next morning. he moved back to atlanta shortly there after. and after being there less than he week he decided he would rather kill himself then to be without me. after much talking and debating both with him and myself, i decided to give it another try. just call me, "dumb dumb".

Ouch! That stings.

text messaging has become a very favorite part of my life. you don't have to worry about talking to someone, its a lot quicker and a lot easier. just the way i like things. but, breaking up with someone via text... eh, not so good. but, i did it anyway. on top of that, the person agreeing to break up with you via text is even worse! this is how the convo went down...

me: "i'm retiring your toothbrush to the trash can"

me: "i'm not very happy about it tho. but the hint has been taken"

skater boo: "i wasn't hinting at anything. i really didn't mean for it to go this way. it's best u move on though. i don't see any change in my schedule in the near future"

me: "no worries. i think it wouldn't have been so bad if i would have gotten to talk to you more than once in a months time. guess ill see ya around."

skater boo: "really sorry - hope you don't hate me!"

me (over compensating as always): "omg. don't be silly. i could never hate you."

skater boo: "ok good"

me: "you don't hate me, do you"

skater boo: "no"

ouch! there it is. the first time i have been dumped since separating from my soo-to-be-ex-husband. and quite honestly, it was a little shocking. didn't think it would go exactly like that. but, after putting up with what i have for the past 7 years, you kind of learn what you want and what you don't want. but, that is another story in itself.